joke1
wifetalkingtoherhusband(whoreadsnewspaperallday):iwishiwereanewspapersoi’llbeinyourhandsallday.
husband:iwishthattoo,soicouldchangeyoudaily
joke2
alittleboyaskedhisfather:daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried?
thefatherreplied:idon’tknowson.i’mstillpaying!!
joke3
kshim:whatareyoudoing?
thesonreplied:dadiamfedupwithmylife!mynewlymarriageisnotgoingwell,mywifeandmymomkeepfightingwitheachother!ihavetopaybillsformyin-laws,andihatethislife!!!iwanttogofarfromhere,iwanttotasteeveryjoyoflife,andiwanttohaveeveryfunoflife!!!
fathersaid:wait!!!!!!!!iamcomingwithyou
joke4
usbanddriveshertotheairportandwisheshertohaveagoodtrip.
thewifeanswered:thankyouhoney,whatwouldyoulikemetobringforyou?
thehusbandlaughedandsaid:anenglishgirl!!!
eekslaterhepickedherupintheairportandasked:sohoney,howwasthetrip?
thewife:verygood,thankyou.
thehusband:and,whathappenedtomypresent?
thewife:whichpresent?
thehusband:whatiaskedfor:theenglishgirl?
thewife:oh,that!well,ididwhaticould;nowwehavetowaitafewmonthstoseeifit’sagirl!!!
joke5
ifedoesn’tlikeitandmoveson,ifeasks,"whatareyouwaitingfor?"thehusbandreplies,"autumn."
joke6
amanissittingreadinghisnewspaperwhenthewifesneaksupbehindhimandwhacks(打)himontheheadwithafryingpan."whatthehellwasthatfor?"heasks."thatwasforthepieceofpaperinyourtrouserpocketswiththenamemaryellenwrittenonit,"’tbesilly,"hesays."twoweeksagowheniwenttotheraces(赛马),maryellenwasthenameofoneofthehorsesibeton."sheseemssatisfiedatthis,edayslaterhe’sagainsittinginhischairreadingwhenshenails(打，俚语)himwithanevenbiggerfryingpan,hecomesaround,heasksagain,"whatthehellwasthatfor?""yourfuckinghorsejustphoned."
joke7
wifetohusband:youweresodrunklastnightthatyouinsultedyourboss.
husband:pissonhim!wife:youdidandhefiredyou!
husband:fuckhim!
wife:ididandyoucangobacktoworktomorrow.
joke8
eypassedabarnyardofmules(骡子)andpigs,thewifesarcasticallyasked,"relativesofyours?""yep,"thehusbandreplied,"in-laws".
joke1
wifetalkingtoherhusband(whoreadsnewspaperallday):iwishiwereanewspapersoi’llbeinyourhandsallday.
husband:iwishthattoo,soicouldchangeyoudaily
joke2
alittleboyaskedhisfather:daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried?
thefatherreplied:idon’tknowson.i’mstillpaying!!
joke3
kshim:whatareyoudoing?
thesonreplied:dadiamfedupwithmylife!mynewlymarriageisnotgoingwell,mywifeandmymomkeepfightingwitheachother!ihavetopaybillsformyin-laws,andihatethislife!!!iwanttogofarfromhere,iwanttotasteeveryjoyoflife,andiwanttohaveeveryfunoflife!!!
fathersaid:wait!!!!!!!!iamcomingwithyou
joke4
usbanddriveshertotheairportandwisheshertohaveagoodtrip.
thewifeanswered:thankyouhoney,whatwouldyoulikemetobringforyou?
thehusbandlaughedandsaid:anenglishgirl!!!
eekslaterhepickedherupintheairportandasked:sohoney,howwasthetrip?
thewife:verygood,thankyou.
thehusband:and,whathappenedtomypresent?
thewife:whichpresent?
thehusband:whatiaskedfor:theenglishgirl?
thewife:oh,that!well,ididwhaticould;nowwehavetowaitafewmonthstoseeifit’sagirl!!!
joke5
ifedoesn’tlikeitandmoveson,ifeasks,"whatareyouwaitingfor?"thehusbandreplies,"autumn."
joke6
amanissittingreadinghisnewspaperwhenthewifesneaksupbehindhimandwhacks(打)himontheheadwithafryingpan."whatthehellwasthatfor?"heasks."thatwasforthepieceofpaperinyourtrouserpocketswiththenamemaryellenwrittenonit,"’tbesilly,"hesays."twoweeksagowheniwenttotheraces(赛马),maryellenwasthenameofoneofthehorsesibeton."sheseemssatisfiedatthis,edayslaterhe’sagainsittinginhischairreadingwhenshenails(打，俚语)himwithanevenbiggerfryingpan,hecomesaround,heasksagain,"whatthehellwasthatfor?""yourfuckinghorsejustphoned."
joke7
wifetohusband:youweresodrunklastnightthatyouinsultedyourboss.
husband:pissonhim!wife:youdidandhefiredyou!
husband:fuckhim!
wife:ididandyoucangobacktoworktomorrow.
joke8
eypassedabarnyardofmules(骡子)andpigs,thewifesarcasticallyasked,"relativesofyours?""yep,"thehusbandreplied,"in-laws".
onegirlwenttothepreacherandconfessedhersin.
有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………
girl:father,ihavesinned.
女孩：神父，我有罪
preacher:whatdidyoudo,littlegirl?
神父：孩子，你犯了什麽罪呢？
girl:yesterday,icalledamana“sonofabitch.“
女孩：昨天，我骂了某个男人一句 “你这个狗娘养的 ”
preacher:why?whatdidhedotoyou?
神父：为什麽？他对你做了什麽吗？
girl:hetouchedmybreast.
女孩：他……他摸我的胸部
preacher:youmeanlikethis?(theguydidit.)
神父：你是说像这样子吗？（神父伸手摸女孩的胸部）
girl:(alittleshyfromthetouch)yes.
女孩：（因为神父的举动而有一些害羞）嗯……是的
preacher:that“snoreasontocallhimthat.
神父：只是这样子的话你没有理由骂他啊
girl:buthealsotookoffmycloth.
女孩：但是……他又把我的衣服脱掉……
preacher:youmeanlikethis?(hediditagain.)
神父：你是说像这样子吗？（神父动手脱掉女孩的衣服）
girl:yes,that“swhathedid.
女孩：是的，是这样子没错
preacher:that“sstillnoreasontocallhimthat.
神父：可是这样子你还是没有理由骂他啊
girl:andheputhisyou-know-whatintomyyou-know-what...
女孩：然後……他把他的……那个……放到我的……那个……里面……
preacher:(evillaugh...)youmeanlikethis?(andyou-know-what)
神父：（奸笑貌）你是说像这样子吗？（神父和女孩就那个那个了）
girl:(afterafewminutes...),that“swhathedid...
女孩：（数分钟後）喔……是的……就是这样子………
preacher:mydeargirl,that“sstillnoreasontocallhima...
神父：我亲爱的孩子，就算是这样你还是没有理由骂他“你这个………”
girl:buthehadaids!!
女孩：但是他有爱滋病呀!!
preacher:thatsonofabitch!!!
神父：那个狗娘养的!!!